“What are convictions? A term that is thrown around a lot, but rarely discussed. Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “A strong persuasion or belief; the state of being convinced; Certainty.”

Of course, we could look at it another way. A person’s convictions are the values they will not flinch on. Those convictions are the line they will not cross, no matter what. Those convictions will affect everything we do, whether we are aware of them or not.

There are many famous structures in the world. The Golden Gate Bridge, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty are all built on strong foundations. Any architect or engineer will tell you the most important part of any building is the part you can’t see–the foundation. Your convictions are YOUR foundation.

Some would say that trials (or times when you have to stand your ground) make one’s convictions. In reality, trials reveal one’s convictions. It is in that moment, that storm, that the Empire State building must stand. At that time, the foundation must hold. When the storm comes, the foundation must not be decided on, not be in the works: it must be a completed, solid, foundation.

What are your convictions? Everyone has them. But what will you choose to build your life on? Your convictions will determine how people remember you.

Having convictions is not enough. You have to also have the courage to follow (live) your convictions and in uncompromising fashion.

If you are in class, and your friend tries to look at your test answers during a test, do you have the courage to cover your paper because of your conviction that cheating is wrong?

Who had a situation this past week where it was a challenge to stand up for your convictions?”

Parents

“As a family, identify role models with integrity whom you admire. These may include Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, or someone else. Learn about these individuals and how they learned to live a life of integrity.”

“Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct.”

Thomas Carlyle

“There is a group of 10 friends and their teacher had planned a service project to help an elderly widow, Miss Morgan, clean up her yard. The young friends had promised to be at Miss Rogers’ home at 9:00 Saturday morning with rakes, hoes, a lawnmower, and trimmers for garden work. On Saturday the teacher and one young friend were the only ones who met at Miss Rogers’ home. Although they worked very hard until 1:00 in the afternoon, they were able to accomplish far less than their goal because two people were trying to do the work of ten.”

How did the two who kept their commitment might have felt?

What responsibility did the other friends have?

How do you feel when other people make commitments and then fail to keep them?

What are some areas in your lives in which you need to be dependable?

Make a list of your responsibilities for the coming week—such things as school obligations, household chores, family responsibilities, and so on. Make a commitment to be dependable in doing these things.

Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn’t blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won’t cheat, then you know he never will.
John D. MacDonald

Integrity: A name is the blueprint of the thing we call character. You ask, What’s in a name? I answer, Just about everything you do.
Morris Mandel

Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment, the other for all time.
Chilton

Integrity means acting upon your values and beliefs even when no one is watching.

Honesty is the first part of showing integrity. Honesty means being truthful and sincere in all circumstances. Your reputation will be built on keeping your word.

If you buy something at Target, and the sales clerk accidentally gives you too much change, what is the honest thing to do?

If you are alone in a parking lot, no trash can in sight, and you need to get rid of a wrapper, should you drop it on the ground while no is looking?

If your teacher asks you if you studied for a test, and you didn’t, what should you say?

If you see an unpopular kid at school being teased, should you join in to be accepted by the cooler kids?

You’ve been really struggling in a class you need to pass. You studied hard for the final test, but still aren’t feeling confident about it. Your friend took the test earlier in the day and offers to tell you exactly what was on it. Should you let her?

If you promise your parents that you will finish your homework before you watch TV, is it okay to watch a quick show before you start your work?

You are alone with your sibling, no parents around, is okay to cuss?

“How many people practice what they preach? The gap between knowing that something is right and the willingness to do it is much bigger than we care to acknowledge. Many of us know that there are times in our lives when we might cross the boundaries that separate right from wrong. Many a times it is but for the sake of convenience. Don’t let laziness get in the way of your integrity. “

Think about the choices you make every day. The decisions you make, especially when no one is around to see them is, are what define you. Integrity is something you practice all of the time, not some of the time.

Quotes

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
Oprah Winfrey

Integrity is not a 90 percent thing, not a 95 percent thing; either you have it or you don’t.
Peter Scotese

Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
Don Galer

Effort is the time and work you commit to your goal. Make sure your have the time and tools to do the tasks outlined in your action plan. Designate a quiet place with minimal distractions to work on your goal. Our lives can sometimes be filled with so many time wasters that there is little room to focus on goals. Re-evaluate those time wasters. Reduce time spent on unproductive activities such as TV and video games. Have a set time to practice your forms or study your multiplication table, or whatever is on your list of action items.

Most of the time simply trying will result in little or no progress.  Even if some initial progress is experienced, the results will likely be very short lived. This creates a negative cycle that can actually hinder our willingness to set personal goals. After all, if you never succeed in reaching your goals, then, what’s the point of trying again?

Think about that for a moment. A halfhearted effort will lead to disappointing results and will stifle your enthusiasm toward future goals. If this pattern continues, it will result in you believing you can’t achieve your goals.  Even if you start with the best of intentions.

Intentions are not enough!

Effort is by definition earnest and conscientious activity intended to do or accomplish something or exertion of physical or mental power.  Effort is the actual work you have to put in to make a goal happen. It is the hours of practice, or research, or the actual process of reaching goals.

People who are successful at setting and reaching their goals understand that effort is essential.

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Goals give you more than a reason to get up in the morning; they are an incentive to keep you going all day. Goals tend to tap the deeper resources and draw the best out of life. 

Harvey Mackay

If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.

Pat Riley

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal, nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude.

Thomas Jefferson

 The four natural principles for success are: A clear goal, a definite plan, confidence, no fear of failure.

Robin Sieger

Becoming a black belt sure takes commitment. Commitment to come to class every week. Commitment to practice your forms. Commitment to stay focused. Commitment comes from being motivated and knowing exactly what you need to accomplish. If you’ve made your action plan, then you have to commit to it to make it work. You need to take ownership of your goal – it just does not work as well if Mom says you have to. “It may be Mom’s goal for me to get an A in math, but it’s not mine!” You have to find your own internal motivation.  Maybe you love music. You learn how math is part of music, and how many musicians are mathematical. You learn about fractions and rhythm, pitch and the frequency of notes. Math suddenly became a little more relevant to your own interests. This is internal motivation. Combine your internal motivation with the action plan and you have commitment!

We have to commit to the end even when it’s challenging.

Use language that shows that you are a person who never gives up. What do people say when they they persevere? These phrases may be, “I can do it!” “Winners never quit, quitters never win,” “It’s not whether you win or lose but whether you stay in the game,” or “I’ll never give up!”

Keep your commitment to follow through with the tasks you take on—even when they get difficult. You might motivate yourself by saying, “I will keep trying and never give up until I have reached my goal!”

When your commit to a goal, you may have to give up something in order to realize the rewards of reaching your goal. For example if you commit to participating in a sport may not have time to be in the school play. However, you will gain the camaraderie of being on team, the challenge of the competition, and the pride of achieving your goal. Understand that sometimes there are sacrifices you have to make in order to reap the rewards of a commitment.

Well Defined Goals + Action Plan + Motivation + Commitment + Effort = Success   

“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”

Mario Andretti

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

Peter F. Drucker

“The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.”

Mack R. Douglas

Create an Action Plan! The action plan is the steps you will take to achieve your goal. These are actions that you can control. For example, if your goal is to memorize the multiplication table than your action plan might start with “I’m going to practice math facts 15 minutes a day with Dad,” or “I’m going to complete the workbook from my multiplication program” or “I’m going to sing along to my times tables songs in the car every day.”

Motivation comes from within. It stems from your beliefs, values and desires – what is important to you. If you really believe that a goal is important, you are going to work hard to attain it. You may be trying to reach a goal that may seem hard and you want to quite, you may receive encouragement from your teachers or parents, but over time you must learn to be self-motivated as well.

Another key component of motivation is believing in yourself. Have you every noticed that people who are successful continue to be successful? They believe they CAN DO IT – that nothing is impossible. Conversely, once you get down on yourself it’s hard to get back on track. For example, you might say “I’m no good at math; I’ll never be able to get it.” This is when you need to break down the goal into manageable tasks that you CAN achieve. If you’ve learned the three times tables already. Hey, the sixes are just double that. Ask for help from parents or instructors if you need help breaking a goal down into action steps.

Write out the goals. Start with broader, long-term goals and work towards short-term, specific goals.

• Make sure that the short-term goal is not too difficult to achieve and is attainable
• Set a deadline. A goal without a deadline is not a goal – it’s a dream. Write it down and post it where you can all see it frequently. Read it each night and again in the morning.
• Brainstorm ways to achieve the goal with parents or teachers. What steps will you need to take? Are you going to follow a book, work with a tutor or complete an online tutorial? Are there other skills you can learn that will help them achieve your goal? Perhaps you need to learn memorization techniques? Make this list very detailed. Turn it into an action plan with a timeline. Schedule these tasks into your daily routine.
• Ensure your commitment by telling up to three people what your goal is.
• Give yourself and incentive for completing the goal. Talk to your parents about allowing you to have extra video games time, a trip to get ice cream , or some other reward for reaching your goals.

Well Defined Goals + Action Plan + Motivation + Commitment + Effort = Success

Quote

 “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.”

Tom Landry

“Your life will be no better than the plans you make and the action you take. You are the architect and builder of your own life, fortune, destiny.”

Alfred A. Montapert

Self-control is defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary a restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.

The amount of self-control that a person has directly impacts how successful a person will be.  It is important that as parents we encourage our children to have self-control and the best way to do that is to model self-control for them.

Below are the weekly discuss themes for Self-Control

Week 1 – Needs and Wants

Week 2 – Patience

Week 3 – Difficult Choices

Week 4 – Consequences

Good manners are the byproduct of a healthy respect for others – in this case family members. For instance how a child talks to their parents is a component of good manners. How well a child keeps their room clean or does their chores is also another component of having manners because it shows respect for the other members of their family as well as their belongings.

This week take the time to speak with your child about their good manners and highlight areas that they could improve in. Remember to praise their good efforts – children respond much much better to praise than punishment.

Focus on the Family: Teaching Manners